“For you, a thousand times over.”

Today , I read "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini.... and there was nothing I could do other than keep reading till I knew the end of the beautiful story. I tried to start studying in the middle, but I HAD to know! Its a splendid tale, and moreover I adore the way he writes, plain, simple and to the point. Somehow, I cant get myself to read Harry Potter or Eragon or those fantasy tales... I dunno, maybe its because everyone's reading that, or just that I believe its utter crap! lol... I don't think that magic is the way JK Rowling portrays it... with horcruxes (wht is the goddamned spelling again?!!) or with wands... I think, tht magic is everyday, its in all our days... Magic is in Amir lack of guts, and Hassan's undying love, Sohrab's courage... but that's just what i think...

that was not the point of this entry!! ... the point being that in the wonderful book, there is this phrase "For you, a thousand times over"... and it struck me as beautiful. Its putting forth all your love and faith towards one person and letting them know that you would do it for them, a thousand times over.

Which made me wonder, (like most things usually do), who is that one person I can say that to, in all honesty. Family, I believe is more obligation than love ( other than close family)... and friendships, well, its only a select few that stand the test of geography and changing interests...and the friendships that last long, are well, the nicest parts of a persons life... So I know tht I would happily do anything for the few real friends that I have. Sometimes I feel, love being a continuation of friendship is overwhelming because you strt to expect a lot from the person you love. Whereas, in friendship, you'd sooner accept them with all their faults because they have been the same to you....However they are, they are just right...

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There comes a time, I believe, in every persons life, when in a split second, they know everything that they have lived by, and for has changed as of now. When, in a tiny space of time they realise that nothing can ever go back to what is was. That life, in all its existence has forever changed. For a new mother, its when her first baby is born. From that day, she ceases to be a just a wife, woman, daughter or daughter-in-law. She is now something new, something that rides higher than all that she has accomplished so far in life. And that little person she has just brought into the world, has, changed her life forever.

I remember that day so very clearly, I can still feel the faint chill of a sunny November Delhi noon. I remember that one phone call I had been dreading, albeit subconsciously, since the very beginning. I remember that amidst all the chaos, the only thing that mattered to me was that I must find and wear my shoes...well, because I'm an army kid, and army kids are always smartly dressed. I remember running down the stairs so fast that I was flying, holding onto the chipped navy blue railing of the building. Not crying, because it never struck me that it was the thing I would do. And then I remember seeing my mother's resigned bewildered face. I see her look for her mum, and when she sees her, she says the dreaded three words. That, the confirmation of my worst fears, was the moment that changed my life forever. I remember sitting down on the first available chair after that, because my knees have given way. I look out of the window at the kind doctors office, and try to count the cars parked in the parking lot, because that is distracting. I realise there is no going back now. I am not crying, because I'm numb. I'm not shocked, it just seems like this is a movie happening to someone else. I think of a tragic serial that aired at that time, and wonder if we will be also put up for adoption like the children in that serial. The time, from hearing a bad news, to the time that you actually assimilate it and understand the implications, that slice of time when everything is clear, and you hang in between, that was the time that changed me.

I may not be able to pin-point where I grew up, but I can tell anyone with eyes closed, when I grew up. One single event left me with a new label, something I was not earlier. One event, and so many different people have so many different memories of it.

I dont know why I'm writing this here, on a page that anyone can read. Its been so long since I made peace with God about it, and forgave Him. Somewhere along the line, maybe I even got closure. I don't know, it was just inside me and probably had to get out somehow.

you and me

"I don't pay attention to the ones who never cared

Find your own direction 'cos there's sweetness in the air

You will be the world to me and I will always be

Dwelling in this happiness, your gift of purity

Eh-ee-oh, eh-ee-oh, eh-ee-oh, eh-ee-oh [x2]

Aahh, you and me will always be

You and me Forever be,

Eternally will always be

You and me

Always be You and me Forever be,

Eternally It will always be You and me

Forever be, Eternally"

the cranberries!!!

to everyone on their "I don't believe in forever" day, this song puts you out of that mood, and makes u look up. That's what I adore about HAPPY love songs, they make you so much more hopeful! and you begin to dance and dream, eternally. (you and me)

BTW, dre, I've booked this song as mine!! lolz! find another one!

past caring, hopefully

You know that feeling, when nothing seems right, and you are past caring, I've reached there. This year so far, has been one major disappointment following another for me. I dont know why we look at some date in the future and feel that THAT ONE DAY everythings going to change. THAT ONE DAY, is going to be so awesome tht we are going to bask in its happiness for the next forthcoming weeks and hours and days. THAT ONE DAY lets you down so horribly, its sad.

I don't know why I'm such a child, resting all my hopes on that one day.

I'm very scared by the fact tht one person has such control over a person's happiness. That scares me and makes me wonder. Its ironical, that I with all my insecurities would go out and hand over my happiness to someone. I would have thought that I would, lock it up and protect it with swords!

I wish this year, and all its endurances would speed past fast.

We're waiting for change only to realise that we are stuck here forever. That we are stuck in this mole hill for what seems like ages n ages. The same phase, waiting and waiting and watching, hopefully. Why must our moment in the sun be a moment so far and so distant tht it hurts us?

why must I be destined to wait!

close to you

"Close To You"

"Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you...


Why do stars fall off from the sky
Everytime you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be,
Close to you...

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
They decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair
And put a starlight in your eyes so blue

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you, all around
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you...

Just like me, they long to be
Close to you....

Just like me, they long to be
Close to you....

Aah... Close to you.... "

the cranberries

I'm never getting over this song, am I?

feels

Someone Like You.

I don't remember the finer details of the movie, since I saw it ages ago on HBO... but I remember the central idea is tht the female lead (Ashley Judd) falls for the wrong guy, and lives with a totally detestable (only to her though!) dude, and in the end she realises tht the detestable dude, is actually THE one!! and hence, Someone Like You.

Wht I like most about the movie is the title, and I wish I could elaborate here as to wht it means to me. Its just so nice. So there. Like if someone were to ask you, wht sorta guy do u want, and you'd say "Someone Like You", wudnt tht be awesome?
(though it'd be really sad tht the person you want is actually daft enough not to realise tht!)


Is this making sense? Not to me!!

Charlie brown says...

Charlie Brown once said that the secret of life was to own a convertible and a lake. "If the sun is shining, you can drive around in your convertible and be happy . . . If it starts to rain it won't spoil your day because you can just say, 'Oh, well, the rain will fill up my lake!"

CHARLIEE!!!

I luv you, charlie brown.

“Happiness is anyone and anything that's loved by you.”