the space between

the space between
your heart and mine 
is the space we'll fill with time... 


Dave Matthews Band

How long has it been since I wrote?!

Yesterday I tried to write, and I sucked at it. Now I suck at various things at various levels, such as skipping, driving, breaking an egg expertly (and turning it into a fried egg), mathematics, PHYSICS, etc. (The list I should be sad to say is endless!) But all my life since I was five, I've rather prided myself on being able to write. But lately, my brains have turned to saw dust with too much of the real world. I no longer write about stuff that I used to love writing about, such as nature, rain , sunshine, love , laughter, dreams,jewellery. And I try to discourage people from visiting this place. 

So yesterday, when I decided to write a simple yet beautiful few lines, and I failed miserably,  I did what any fallen from grace 'writer' would do. I cribbed about it to my cute guy, (who told me to stop wallowing in self pity) and I wallowed about in self pity, claiming my gift had been robbed by my cruel alternate career and the mundane life that I now lead. (When did I not?! )

I've been reading a looootttttt of MOM blogs lately, and I find that having a cute house, having multiple cute children and a good camera are quite possibly enough tools for a good blog. Well I do live in a cute house, but Im not the 'woman' of the house, and I dont have even ONE cute kid, let alone multiple , and lets just not talk about my camera. I don't sit around documenting my life like I see those wonderful ladies do, but instead I go live it. I go to work (my internship) and honestly there's nothing remotedly interesting about that. Because whn I say "interning" people assume its with some hot shot advertising  / media firm, but no such luck as I intern with a chartered accountancy firm. I wish I could somehow glamourise what I do in a day, but then I probably wouldn't be able to recognize my OWN job! 

So since that takes up my entire day, and my social life is honestly, just depressing , and my love life is a secret which must remain under wraps I find that I have nothing to write about ! Which leads us to the ol forgotten, withering under a pile of dust, seldom visited, never updated- blog!

 

Aah well! 

Wouldn't you rather live the great adventure than write about it? 

 

 

the slow warmth

"Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest. Our magic moment help us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams. Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments – but all of this is transitory it leaves no permanent mark. And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken."

This is of course, from my favourite, many times re-read, dog-eared book, and also written in my own hand on my soft board.

I don't quite know why, but now I associate being in love with a slow steady warmth rather than the sparky days of yore. A dreamy, certain, knowledge that I'm a part of a whole. The bliss rather than the joy. Love and the knowledge of love, that has sunk down to the bones.

And yes, we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we are taking .

I simply love you, more than I love life itself!

So, a lot has happened since I wrote last. I'm appalled at the state of my blog! No posts.
There are many reasons for that. Such as this WONDERFUL woman , loads of work!, friends, movies and also passing the toughest examination of my life!! (YIPPPPPIEE!!)

Yay! to moving ahead in life!!

(Laughing like children,

Living like lovers)

Lately, all i write is nonsensical bullshit. So its awesome that i dont write at all, and restrict myself to reading other ppls...er... sensical bullshit! Not only do i NEVER have the time to write, I recently find myself AVOIDING my own blog. Its right there in the favourites but I will click on the blue f instead the orange (what seems to be) B.

See told u, nonsensical bullshit.

A harbour in the tempest...

You say you'll give me
Eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest
But all the promises we make
From the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you...

U2

I will never be twenty again, we will never have this night again. You will never look the same again and we will never laugh like this again. So carefree, so childlike. I will never wear this dress again and you won't say the same thing again. Things will change, and they should. We will become different people and we will grow. Together or apart.

I think love has little to do with not being able to live without each other,but with being able to live apart. I think love seeps into our souls, into our bones, in our blood. My body will recognise your touch. And yours, mine. I love your shoulders.

Its a holy, sacred thing.

It might sour, might fade, might turn nasty. It may hurt me and you. A lot of bad blood.We may tear each other apart.

It may on the other hand, never die. We may search and find everlasting devotion.Stumble upon it. The sort of love that shines through the wrinkles, the petty fights, the lonely times,the miles of laundry. We might be so lucky as to be our first and only love.

I don't know the ending, and I'm not sure of where we started on this path, but I DO know that with a journey as beautiful as this, its not the ending that matters. What matters is that I have you, and you have me. And this beautiful journey.

Untitled 1

If falling from a low place 

would hurt as much 

as from a place thats high,

May I love with all my heart 

and take risks, rather than

Let life, scared, pass me by. 

If loving you can lead to hurt,

and endless nights alone in tears

May I love you with all my heart, 

May love dispel my fears. 

If loving you can fill me with longing

Numb my mind with this pain,

May I love you like this forever,

What the heck, I'll do it again! 

Its better to have loved and lost

than to not have loved at all,

(If I had) to choose between love and risk,

From a high place, I'd rather fall. 

23 May 2009

(Inspired by "by the river piedra i sat down and wept" , paulo coelho )

Whenever I listen to this song by Shakira, I realise that it has, in a very personal way, the most perfect lyrics. I love Coldplay, but seriously, not all their songs CAN be understood. Point in example.."speed of sound"... first time I listened to it I was like "Huh? Birds?!" ... Not to digress, these are "the most perfect lyrics" (in a very personal way!)

"So I find a reason to shave my legs

Each single morning

So I count on someone on Friday nights

To take me dancing and then

To church on Sundays

To plant more dreams

And someday think of kids

Or maybe just to save a little money

....My real life has just begun

Cause there's nothing like your smile made of sun

"So I learned to cook and finally lose

My kitchen phobia

And so I got the arms to cuddle in

When there's a ghost or a muse

That brings insomnia

To buy more thongs

And write more happy songs

It always takes a little help from someone

...Nothing like your love"

egad! grey hair!

Turning a year older doesn't necessarily imply turning wiser.
Happy Twenty To ME!

I read about some air hostess allegedly killing herself for not being allowed to smoke and the first thing I read is her age. TWENTY. yikes !
I've hardly done any of the things on my "Things-to-do-before-I-Pop-Off" and people my age are killing themselves off.

"Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts. "

A remarkable dialogue from the movie - The Last Kiss
Very true too.