thts me in the corner...

Well, since its my blog, Id like to write about me, or rather my perception about me.
I think, whatever is viewed closely, is most skewed. And so i think the most common mis-conception people have is about themselves. Because to be detached and think of oneself as someone else, well, I think that's capable of only great people, who've achieved Moksha!

So, us lesser mortals, well we fumble and founder but somewhere along the way, we find ourselves...

I've always had a mental picture about myself... when I was growing up, it was of this awkward and grumpy kid with short hair and a permanent frown... who didnt quite speak until spoken to, and once I broke the ice, well, then I'd never stop speaking at all.

The hair outgrew the rigourous haircut, and contact lenses replaced the heavy spectacles. The forever-frown eased into easy smiles, and people stopped recognising me. NO ONE from my dog-eared childhood recognises me.... (I wonder hw foolish!)

But did my mental picture change? I dont know. I dont think so. I'm still the easily-perturbed lil tubby kid, still the poet, still the over-hopeful romantic, still the lazy ass. Sometimes walking around town, I come across myself, during my stuck-up phase, or sometimes when I see a bunch of school girls laughing in the rain, I see my childhood again. (though I dont think I'm all tht far, anyways...)

Sometimes, I long to be a slender beautiful brunette with lovely lace dresses and maroon lipstick, and lovely sexy fingers, sipping margaritas... sitting at the edge of a beautiful fountain and with the breeze in my hair... Sometimes when I'm walking down the road I feel I'm her....

Do we change, or does our perception change? Or does people's perception about us change? When we do something tht we are ashamed or embarrased about, do we try to hide it because the picture that people have about us will change, or do we lock it up in our hearts because we dont want to change the way we think about ourselves?